


want to live, want to love (with you)

by Aberial_63



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: College, F/F, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Roommates, oblivious gays
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-02
Updated: 2019-10-02
Packaged: 2020-11-22 05:36:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,343
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20869046
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aberial_63/pseuds/Aberial_63
Summary: Prompt: claia au as those sapphics that are roommates that don't realize they're dating each other for like six months





	want to live, want to love (with you)

“You should bring your girlfriend to the Alpha Delta party,” Isabelle said offhandedly as she flipped through the stack of papers littered with various chemical equations.

“Excuse me?” Clary asked. “My what?”

“Your girlfriend,” Isabelle repeated. “She’s so nice and she got on great with all of the girls last time you brought her.”

Clary furrowed her brow.

“Iz, I don’t have a girlfriend. I literally have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Isabelle looked up.

“Oh no, did you and Maia break up?” she gasped.

Okay, this was getting even more confusing for Clary by the second. 

“Uh, no? Maia and I never dated. She’s my roommate.”

Realization dawned on Isabelle’s face and she let out an astonished laugh. 

“Are you serious? We all genuinely thought you two were together. You two always seemed so close and you’re always super in sync. Honestly, it’s kind of scary sometimes how you two always know exactly what the other is thinking. I guess we all just assumed.”

Clary was speechless. Sure, Clary could see how gorgeous Maia was and yes, they had this weird mental connection that Clary had never had with another person before, but that didn’t mean anything. Just because they went to the farmer’s market together every Sunday and regularly talked until 2 am, it didn’t mean they were dating. So what if they spent Friday nights cuddled under a blanket and watching cooking shows on the Food Network until their eyes refused to stay open? It’s not like they’d kissed or anything.

“Well, you shouldn’t assume,” Clary grumbled, trying to hide her flaming cheeks behind her hair and staring intently down at the homework in front of her.

Clary could hear the smirk in Isabelle’s voice when she said, “Okay, Clary. But just in case, you should see if Maia is aware that you two aren’t together. Who knows? Maybe I’m not the only one who thought you were a couple.”

Clary thought about Isabelle’s words the whole way home that night. She thought about them on the train, on her way down Fifth Avenue, when she was picking up Maia’s favorite Indian takeout from the little place down the street from their apartment.

She didn’t know why, but the thought of dating Maia had her stomach in knots and her heart twisting painfully in her chest. Normally, when Clary felt like this, she would confide in Maia otherwise she would burst. Whenever she was upset or had something on her mind, it always made Clary feel better to tell Maia and get some comforting words of assurance in return. 

Tonight, it seemed, was no different.

“Maia, are we dating?” Clary blurted out halfway through the meal.

Maia choked on her Aloo Gobi.

“Pardon?” she coughed.

“Are we dating?” Clary asked again, trying to sound less nervous than she really was.

Maia studied Clary with bewildered eyes.

“I don’t think so, not unless you forgot to tell me about our sudden change in relationship status.”

Clary sighed and let her shoulders relax.

“Okay, that’s what I thought. I knew Izzy was just having an overactive imagination again.”

“Isabelle thought we were dating?” Maia questioned before taking a sip of water.

“Apparently she’s not the only one. All of the Alpha Delta girls thought we were too.”

Maia chuckled awkwardly and stabbed at her food with her fork.

“They’re ridiculous. We’re just close friends. Just because we’re two attractive, sapphic women who live together it doesn’t mean we’re boning or whatever.”

Clary felt heat creep up her neck.

“No, we definitely aren’t doing that,” she mumbled. 

Clary didn’t know why she said what she said next.

“But would it be so bad if we were?”

Maia dropped her fork.

“Excuse me?”

Clary cursed herself, cursed Isabelle for putting the idea into her head, cursed her big fucking mouth that was incapable of holding in what she was thinking.

“Nevermind. Forget I said anything,” Clary replied quickly as she got to her feet. “Okay, I’m just gonna clean up these dishes and we can pretend I never said anything.”

Clary picked up the plates and silverware with shaky hands and retreated to the kitchen.

Her heart pounded painfully in her chest. Ever since that afternoon, all she’d been able to think about was  _ what if?.  _ What if Isabelle was right? What if she actually wanted to be with Maia and she’d never realized it? What if the love she’d wanted for so long had been in front of her all this time and she’d been too convinced that they could never be anything more than roommates to actually see it? What if Clary kissed Maia? What if Maia kissed her back?

Clary dropped the dishes in the sink and started scrubbing them harshly to try and drown out the way her mind was racing. Maybe if she ignored the thoughts and the feel of Maia’s intense stare on the back of her neck, then they could both move on. The  _ what if’s  _ would wash away with the soap suds that enveloped Clary’s hands.

Clary stiffened when she felt Maia’s tentative fingers on her elbow.

“Hon? Can you look at me?” Maia whispered softly from behind her.

“I think I’ll pass,” Clary said shortly..

“Clary,” Maia implored, tightening her hold on Clary’s arm.

Clary huffed and prayed her face wouldn’t give away everything that was going through her head. She turned to face Maia.

_ Oh. _

Maia was so close to her now, their faces mere inches apart. Maia’s dark brown eyes were steady as they gazed at Clary. Her lips were quirked into an amused smirk and Clary simultaneously wanted to squirm away nervously and melt into a formless puddle on the ground. How had she managed to live with this beautiful girl for months and remain a functioning human being?

Maia raised her eyebrows, asking a question that Clary couldn’t quite decipher but knew she couldn’t refuse. Every bone in her body was screaming yes to whatever Maia was offering. She nodded.

Maia pulled Clary in and kissed her sweetly. It was chaste by all definitions, but it was perfect. Her soapy hands raised of their own accord to cup Maia’s face and keep her close. Maia’s grasp drifted to Clary’s hips, warm and undemanding against her curves.

It ended too soon, but Clary was too tongue-tied to protest.

“I think we are too oblivious for our own good, Fray. We could have been doing that this whole time,” Maia chuckled breathlessly.

Clary laughed disbelievingly and continued to struggle to form a coherent thought. Luckily, Maia seemed to have enough words for the both of them.

“Clary,” she went on, “I never realized it before, but I think I’ve always wanted for us to be like this. I knew I enjoyed being your friend and living with you and being around you as much as humanly possible, but I never let myself think about how much  _ more  _ we could be. I was scared of losing such a genuine connection if a relationship went badly, but I’m sick of being scared. I don’t want to let this pass me by when I know how amazing we could be.”

Clary wiped away some of the stray suds on Maia’s cheeks and smiled at how Maia blushed at the touch.

“I feel the same way. I wish it hadn’t taken me so long to see it, but I do now. Maia, I want you to be my actual girlfriend, not just my roommate that everyone assumed is my girlfriend. What would you say to that?”

She grinned and leaned back in. 

“Kiss me again and I’ll think about it.”

Who was Clary to deny her that? 

After what felt like decades, the women pulled apart. Maia nodded to herself.

“Okay, yeah, I will absolutely be your girlfriend.”

  
Clary beamed at her and made a mental note to send Isabelle some flowers and chocolates for making her realize all that she’d been missing for  _ far _ too long. Clary wasn’t going to make that mistake ever again.


End file.
